A year or two before my own final fusion, I witnessed some fully fused plurals get driven out of a supposedly inclusive space for all plurals. They were bombarded with angry comments telling them that they weren't plural anymore, that they weren't allowed to be in the plural community anymore, and that them being fully integrated was "too triggering." As a side note, all triggers are valid, but treating someone like their very existence is "too triggering" is completely inappropriate.

I stood up for these people along with some other kind souls but our messages unfortunately paled in comparison to the amount of hate. Each one of those integrated plurals eventually left...and most of them left the community entirely. I don't know where they went. Most of the stories they shared about their experiences are gone now.

I'm still shaken up by this.

The strangest part of this event is that the very people who attacked and drove out those folks were actually very inclusive of most experiences under the plural umbrella. When one talks about a "plural exclusionist," we typically think about people who see all plurality as a disorder caused by trauma. That wasn't the case here. Yet, these plurals were being exclusionary because they were excluding folks who felt like they belonged in the community but had experiences that these plurals didn't like or agree with.

This exclusionism often slips under the radar because of how final fusion is seen by many who don't want it. Let me be perfectly clear: final fusion isn't for everyone. Yet, those of us who are fully integrated get stereotyped by those negative views. We're seen as singlet-wannabes who "murdered" our headmates to "get rid of" our plurality. These stereotypes neglect that many of us don't experience fusion as death and still identify as plural or something adjacent to it. On top of this, many systems who aren't fully fused still experience fusions.

This isn't the only time I've seen something like this happen. It's been a pattern in the community for longer than I've been here. Plurals who reach final fusion are consistently shunned and shamed until they leave plural spaces. We disappear and our stories vanish alongside us.

On one hand, I can understand the stigma.

In the past, many psychiatrists saw final fusion as a necessary treatment for plurality. This view was challenged by plurals and other psychiatrists from the very beginning, but it took a long time for our voices to get through. Fusion was forced onto many plurals who didn't want it and suffered from it. It's understandable that so many systems nowadays are afraid of fusion, not just because they don't want it, but because of its history of misuse.

The psychiatric system has a violent history and I will never deny that...but things change. In the current day, final fusion is NOT seen as the only option for plurals in recovery and it hasn't been for a long time. That's not to say that fusion doesn't still get wrongfully portrayed as "the correct option" or that medical malpractice doesn't happen anymore, but it's not common and it's not supported. Those of us who found our happiness and recovery in final fusion hate seeing it pushed in such a disturbing way, too.

The fear is valid and I understand it...but it's not an excuse to be exclusionary. It's not an excuse to divide the plural community.

After we reached final fusion, we were scared that we would also be driven out if we ever spoke about it. So, we kept it to ourself for a while.

It was suffocating. The stigma of fusion was unavoidable. It permeated every plural space we were in, even the ones that claimed to be all-inclusive. We saw people like us depicted as everything from monsters to victims to monstrous victims. It was unbearably hurtful and it wasn't our truth.

Eventually, we couldn't keep quiet anymore and began to speak about our final fusion. We needed the community to know that the stereotypes were wrong. We placed our lived experience behind trigger warnings and reminders that final fusion isn't for everyone and that it's okay if you don't want it and so on. We were walking on eggshells.

We got the occasional hateful comment, but nothing as dramatic as what we had seen happen to others. Mostly we just got this general feeling of exclusion. We didn't feel like we were welcomed despite the advertisements of "inclusivity" and "all experiences are valid" and "there's no wrong way to be plural."

But we also got comments thanking us. Hearing about our experiences has helped some people understand final fusion better. It has helped some people broaden their minds on plurality. We've helped other fused folks realize that they're not alone. We feel so warm inside thinking about it.

We don't want to disappear from the plural community. We are still plural. We just happen to be integrated, too!

I will always value and respect the experiences of all plurals, including those who are completely or partially fused and those who will never fuse at all. Will you?